Online deity, Jennifer Lawrence, has graced us petty mortals with a glimpse of her newest cinematic venture – i.e. there is a new trailer out for Hunger Games: Catching Fire.
‘She-who-can-do-no-wrong’ is back as Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire, who has transformed into a national icon in the wake of her dramatic triumph at the last Hunger Games.
If you don’t understand any of the above sentence, you’re a moron who needs to join the 21st Century. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is a novel set in the ruins of a dystopian America, called Panem. The land is divided into 12 Districts, each of which provide a crucial resource to the Capitol. Those in the Districts live to provide the luxuries of the Capitol. To keep the Districts in order, they select a boy and a girl every year from each District to join the Hunger Games – a massive thunderdome-like contest where only the winner walks away alive. No, they are not fighting for food because they’re ‘zomg so hungry’, despite what the name suggests. Well actually – if you win, you get food.
So basically, its like a white persons’ Battle Royale
Our homegirl, J-Law, has won the Hunger Games along with her pretend lover, Peeta Mellark (‘He-who-sounds-like-a-typo’). They gamed the system in order to win (they both survived by threatening to commit joint suicide in national broadcast – eugh, morbid… Can you believe this is a book for kids?). So now, shit’s gettin’ real! Donald Sutherland (President Snow) is out for blood and apparently, he’s hired Truman Capote to help him:
They need to QUASH HER! Because she is a SYMBOL! RAAAHHHH!!! Yeah, okay.
The players of this tragic farce:
Sidenote: I TOTALLY ran into Eyebrows (a.k.a. Willow Shields, a.k.a. Primrose Everdeen) at the Melbourne ComicCon last year. Yeah, you’re totally impressed now, right?
Bonus J-Law winning Jack Nicholson:
Bonus J-Law winning at everything: