I know the episode was released a week ago but I only got to it now. What can I say? I am incredibly busy and important.
This week, we see Trudy smack down with Peter in a very serious way. If Trudy were a 21st Century woman, she would be a psycho-b*tch CEO that still had time to bake cupcakes for school pep rallies, all the while looking perfectly coiffed. She and Joan would probably run a corporate empire together.
In this episode, ‘Collaborators’, we explore themes of fidelity and discretion. El Douchebag is still messing around with the neighbour’s wife (I swear, the fact that he’s Jewish and his neighbour makes it seem biblical somehow). Sideburns Campbell is messing around with his neighbour’s wife as well. Miss Olson ponders her clinging loyalty to Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. Joan gets a small, but effective scene. Everyone just seems really unhappy.
El Douchebag Draper – is still at it! He casually flouts his marriage to the ever-lovely Megan for Sylvia, the depressed Jewish housewife. Its your own fault you married a balding doctor; no need to ruin Megan Draper’s happiness. Well, its not really Sylvia’s fault. If El Douchebag weren’t sticking it to Sylvia, he’d be sticking it to someone else. We get a fun little flashback to Don’s past and find out that ‘kindly Uncle Mack’ was actually his adoptive-mother’s sister’s husband who ran a brothel and was DISGUSTING. Little Dick Whitman peeped through keyholes at their depravity. Do we think this is where his fascination with illicit sexual dalliances stems from? Anyway, there was actually a moment there where he was the sexy Don Draper of old (before we got to know him better) where he tells Sylvia over dinner that he’ll be taking off her dress one way or another by the end of the night. Plus, we’re reminded of his advertising flair briefly during the takedown of disgusting Herb Rennet’s terrible idea (I like to imagine it was in defence of Joan.)
5 pts (for hilarious passive aggression with Jaguar) + 5 pts (for helping me forget Don’s current douchebagginess) – 50 pts (for current douchebagginess) = -40 pts
Miss Olson – You know, I think she’s getting too much flak for being tough with her underlings. As a “humourless b*tch” myself, I can totally sympathise with her desire for perfection and distaste for lazy mediocrity. And what does she get for it? A lame practical joke involving feminine hygiene powder. You’d think her creative team might actually be creative, and yet, they wonder why she’s so hard on them.
20 pts (for being a tough broad) + 5 pts (LOL at having Teddy Chaough explain the joke to her) – 15 pts (for trying to apologise to her underlings – be the b*tch that you are, not the meek woman they want you to be) = 10 pts
Joan – Remember that disgusting fatty from Jaguar that Joan needed to whore herself out to in order to get a partnership (“not silent”), Herb Rennet? Well, he’s back and more disgusting than ever. Fat-man: “I know there’s a part of you that’s happy to see me.” / Joan: “I know there’s a part of you that you haven‘t seen in years.” BUH-BUURRN.
40 pts (burn that fatty – maybe some of his lard will melt off) + 5 pts (for keeping it together) = 45 pts
Sideburns Campbell – When did Peter get so desirable? Seriously, those two blonde married bimbos were just throwing themselves at him! Did you airheads not see his SIDEBURNS? Anyway, he gets himself involved with Blonde Bimbo #1 and she stupidly tells her husband about it. A huge embarrassing scene ensues where she bangs down their door in the middle of the night, dressed in her nightgown and covered in blood. Pure, and utter stupidity. Keep it out of the neighbourhood, Pete. (Foreshadowing for El Douchebag?)
5 pts (for working it even with sideburns – he deserves a little credit) – 20 (for picking the stupider bimbo) – 70 (for daring to challenge Trudy) = -85 pts
Trudy – Of course, Trudy knew all along. Did you really think she would let him get that apartment if she wasn’t comfortable with it? All she wanted was discretion. It’s a bit depressing that her definition of success is a vision of domestic perfection (even a false one will do). Nevertheless, she wants what she wants and Trudy talks a mean game: “I’m drawing a 50 mile radius around this house and if you so much as open your fly to urinate, I. Will. Destroy. You.” We always knew Trudy was smarter and tougher than Pete. Now, he’s finally caught on.
INFINITY PTS (for being Trudy, The Housewife Who Will Destroy You)
WINNER: TRUDY CAMPBELL
Bonus Community reference to Mad Men: