Thor The Dark World Trailer: The Dark Demigod

In The Avengers pantheon, its safe to say that Thor is considered the lightweight of the group. The first Thor film was pretty good, but it was… popcorn-y.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with popcorn. Its crunchy, buttery, golden goodness in a brightly-coloured wrapper (much like Thor!). But that’s not something you traditionally associate with Kenneth Branagh. In the 21st Century, Kenneth Branagh is synonymous with Shakespeare! Okay, so Thor was Shakespearean popcorn – deliciously fun, yet eloquent.

On the plus side, Branagh attracts talent – aside from Robert Downey Jr’s Iron Man, an argument can be made that the two largest breakout stars from the Marvel universe were Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth. Tom Hiddleston is the embodiment of elegant mischief, while Chris Hemsworth’s golden mane practically screams hero.

Hey, ladies.

The one thing that really freaked me out in the first film was just how SHINY everything was. It made everything look fake and super CGI’d. I mean, you’re not JJ Abrams, Kenneth – we don’t need that much lens-flare.

OOooOOooooooOOOoOooOOoooohhhh! SHINY.

Alas, the new trailer for Thor: The Dark World dashes all thoughts of shiny-ness. Someone threw a bucket of mud all over the film and sloshed it around. What arose was a gritty Demi-god akin to The Dark Knight.

Word Vomit:

More references to Christopher Nolan – zero-gravity truck!

WHOAAAAAA alien spacecraft? Um, magical Elvish spacecraft?

KAT DENNINGS! Whatever happened to her iPod? Did SHIELD give it back? She did just download 20 songs, after all. I’d be pissed too.

Oh hey, Natalie! She’s so tiny next to him. Kinda like his wife, Elsa Pataky. Btw, I’m small too, Chris. *hint*hint*

Janey goes to Asgard! Sif looks super JELLO! So jealous, she’s green jello.

That’s another fabulous red cape.

I can’t handle it! The swelling vocals, the thunderous drums, and THOR ON A BATTLEFIELD. Finally! I just want to see him get Medieval on Elvish butt and just bash some shit up. How cool is it that the soundtrack is named ‘Shinigami’? (For those uncultured few, that means ‘God of Death’ in Japanese.)

God of Thunder, baby

God of Thunder, baby

Someone needs plastic surgery. Or some skin-grafts, at least:

Elvish cyborg scum

Elvish cyborg scum

LOKI!! Be aware, Hiddlestoners, that Tom Hiddleston is being rumoured for the role of Draven in The Crow. This is definitely going to help his case:

Gothic chic

Gothic chic

The first thing I did after watching that trailer was to Google the director. This is obviously NOT the work of shiny Kenneth Branagh.  I present to you the man that brings us the Dark Demi-God:

Director Alan Taylor

This will be Alan Taylor’s directorial debut in a major feature film. But lets look at his past television credits:

GAME OF THRONES (6 EPISODES)

MAD MEN (4 EPISODES)

BOARDWALK EMPIRE (1 EPISODE)

THE SOPRANOS (9 EPISODES)

ROME (2 EPISODES)

DEADWOOD (2 EPISODES)

CARNIVALE (1 EPISODE)

F*CK YES! I love this man already. In Alan Taylor, we (hope to) trust.

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