47 Ronin Trailer: The Return of The One

The trailer is as schizophrenic as my reaction to it was. I’m oscillating between “WTF is this bullshit” and “YEAH!! Looks neato burrito!”

As far as I can tell, 47 Ronin looks like a genre mash-up / bloody revenge fantasy. Keanu Reeves plays a half-breed Neo sought out by the 47 Ronin for his “The One”-esque abilities. They need him to save the world as they know it from Asian Maleficent, played by Rinko Kikuchi (Kinko Rikuchi? Kinki Rikichi?). Sounds familiar, but since its likely meant to pay homage to our favourite nerdy genre tropes, one can’t really get too irritated.


In the spirit of supporting my Asian brethren – AWWWW YISSSSSS!!! A badass Hollywood blockbuster (its budget was $200m+) featuring a predominantly Asian cast. That’s what I call WINNING!

Rinko Kukich- I mean, Rinko KIKUCHI – is coming off a geek-high from Pacific Rim. God, I love her. I vote YES to demon dragon-lady Kikuchi.

It’s that famous token Jap guy from the Last Samurai and a selection of other Westernized Asian films! Whoo! (For reals, Hiroyuki Sanada is the beezneez).

Mash-ups! We love genre mash-ups! (Well, if they’re good.)

Its gleefully bloodlustful atmosphere reminds me a bit of Tarantino. Its Django with Samurai swords, people.

Visually – its fuckin’ stunning. The rolling vistas, the intricate costuming, the moody cinematography. I love watching beautiful things. I’ll like something if its fuckin’ gorgeous even if it lacks substance. I’m superficial that way.


That’s some shitty trailer cutting. Why are they using metallic lettering from Transformers?

“An Outcast … Exiled.” That’s just bad English. An outcast is by definition someone who has been exiled. Mega tautology.

That dragon looks kinda danky. I get the concept – the traditional Chinese mythical dragon. I just hope it looks a lot better than that plastic green parasite I saw roll across my laptop screen.

Ugh, Keanu. Why do you open your mouth? Let us just appreciate those great genes that have seemingly halted all signs of physical ageing.


Let’s be honest, its not going to be Shakespeare. This isn’t going to be a complex intellectual exercise exploring the poetry of Classical Chinese literary themes. But the concept is fun, I love me some Asians kicking ass, and it looks delightfully action-packed.

I am someone that liked 300 and The Immortals. Hell, I even quite enjoyed Sucker Punch at times. I wrote off Pacific Rim due to a similar “WTF is this shit” reaction. I’m not likely to make that mistake again. As painful as it will be watching Keanu figure out how to use his words, I’m sure I’ll find something to like about 47 Ronin.

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