Tag Archives: Michelle Fairley

Suits Recap (S03 E01-02): Oh Captain Litt, My Captain

Louis is like that wannabe girl in high school that, no matter what she does, is still unpopular. Haven’t you realised by now Louis? The dynamic duo of Harvey + Mike will never be a triumvirate. You’re the Jenny Humphrey to their Blair and Serena. Strike out on your own Louis! I guarantee you there are other, more worthy people out there who would kill to join Team Litt.

That’s right, Louis. I want to be LITT UP.

Wooing for Team Litt

Louis Litt is my man. He’s come a long way from the vindictive, snivelling, two-faced coward in Season 1 and bloomed into the most sympathetic, eccentric, and well-developed character of Suits. His hairy behind has weaselled its way into my heart and established domicile. Poor Louis Litt was that kid that was bullied for being strange and socially-retarded in high school.

Who are we kidding? Pearson Hardman, now Pearson Darby, is high school with better clothes. Louis is still a Mathlete that loiters creepily around the drama club. Harvey is still the head jock / honour-roll student / bad boy prom king that snogs all the girls.

That’s why, when Nigel made an appearance, I was so thrilled. FINALLY, someone whose obsessive-compulsion and social-ineptitude matched the Litt level. But of course, after being betrayed so many times, Louis couldn’t recognise a true potential friend when he saw one. Its really quite sad. Not only did Nigel take his uni-balls and his bran bars, but taking the associates? That is LOW.

At least Louis got to experience his very own Dead Poets Society moment.

Bless Mike. All Louis wants is an ‘in’ with the cool kids. He just wants his own bro to romance.

Watching him and Louis tackle Eminent Domain this week was like watching the beginnings of a beautiful love story. The wining and dining. The steak. The cheesecake. The mud room – oh God, who could forget the glorious mud room.

  

Mike and Louis would’ve been a great team.

Mr & Mrs Specter

Alas, Louis could never stand in the way of true love. By that, of course, I mean Harvey Specter and his beleaguered bro-wife, Mike Ross.

As much as I want Mike and Louis to hook up, you can’t deny that Harvey and Mike are perfection. They are Ted & Marshall, they are Turk & J.D., they are Joey & Chandler, they are freaking Lucius Vorenus & Titus Pullo (“THIRTEENTH!!!!”). In sharply-tailored suits, of course.

That’s why it felt pretty frivolous watching Harvey and Donna meangirl Mike for two episodes.

They weren’t ever, ever, ever not going to get back together.

The Fungus Couple

Speaking of star-crossed lovers, I’ve never really been down with the Mike & Rachel connection. They were always kind of blah to me. It started off with him being all “ooh she’s so hot, she’s so feisty”, but then he got with Jenny. But he still flirted with Rachel. And then broke it off with Jenny. Started dating Rachel. But then broke it off with Rachel because he ‘couldn’t lie to her’. And she found out he’s a total fraud and liar. And she still takes him back?! Like, what up, Rachel? I thought you were a smart, empowered lady! He cheats and lies, but because he has innocent blue eyes and is supposedly well-endowed, its all totally peachy-keen?

(Haha, I just wanted an excuse to post that. Donna is mah guuurrrlll *snaps fingers while tossing hair around*.)

But whatever. I guess if writers are insisting that Mike & Rachel are the next Ross and Rachel (hoho Mike ROSS), then fine – I’ll get with the program.  I guess they’re kinda growing on me. Like a FUNGUS.

UGHHH FINE, I CONCEDE. That was pretty cute.

Don’t you hate it when Mommy and Daddy fight

While we’re evaluating couples, its so troubling when the ultimate power couple fights. By that, I mean Harvey and Jessica. Its like when Blair and Chuck fight – you can almost sense the looming apocalypse.

The world just ain’t right when they’re not scheming together. Let’s just acknowledge right now how the whole of Episode 2 was an allegory foreshadowing the potential double-crossing Harvey will be enacting on Jessica. I get it, she went behind his back. But don’t you think you’re being a little childish, Harvey? It was always her firm and if she needed a merger to survive, that’s her business. There’s a reason she can’t trust you, Harvey. You’re a loose cannon and now, you’re just proving her right with your recklessness and impulsiveness. Oh no, you didn’t get what you want. Boo frickin hoo. Let’s topple my patron and mentor because she put me in my place.

I love you Gabriel Macht, but you’re going to have to work really hard this season if you want me to keep supporting Team Harvey at the rate he’s going.

FYI – JESSICA PEARSON IS MY IDOL. This is my life plan: I shall be Jessica Pearson at 40, and Diane Lockhart at 50. I’ve clearly thought things through.

Jessica Pearson is one hot bitch with hella style, but wtf was she wearing in Episode 1? It was like she got cold and wrapped a dirty Ace bandage around her shoulders.

Game of Thrones suits up

You know who’s another hot bitch? Corporate Catelyn Stark. Whooo! You go, Michelle Fairley. Who knew Mrs Stark had such a rockin’ bod under all those furs.

You just know that Corporate Varys got her to hook-up. You know why Conleth Hill always plays a sneaky mofo? Because he does it with such charm and pizazz.

CONCLUSION: Can we stop the back-stabbing, guys? As we’ve just seen with Harvey and Mike, Jessica and Harvey will return to being the Brangelina of corporate law in no time. Let’s everyone go back to the status quo because any episode where anyone is scheming behind each others back is one wasted where they could’ve been awesomely taking down some slimy dickbag. Like Dominic. Ugh.

Silver lining? SUITS IS BACK! YAY!

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Game of Thrones Recap (S03 E09): DOWN WITH THE FREYS

I read the third book almost two years ago. I have had a long time to ponder the death of my beloved Robb Stark. Nevertheless, when The Red Wedding erupted into a violent bloody gorefest, it very nearly incapacitated my poor little brain.

I thought I was prepared. I read the books after the first season, after I fell deeply in love and solidified my destiny to become Mrs. (Lady?) Robb Stark. Robb was rather poorly-drawn in the book, but by imagining the handsome Richard Madden in the role, I was engrossed in his story. Then came ‘A Storm of Swords’. The Red Wedding sent me spiralling into a clinical depression over the doom of my fantasy hubby. I nested in the darkness for days, wallowing in grief and having nightmares about his wolf-headed corpse (okay, no nightmares – just a lot of laziness and instant noodles).

I think if everyone who has ever been psychologically traumatised by George RR Martin came together,  we could probably launch quite a sizeable class-action lawsuit and win some major damages.

Anyway, point is, I’ve had almost two years to come to terms with Robb Stark’s unceremonious murder. Still, watching ‘The Rains of Castamere’ last night felt  like I was reliving the brutal homicide of a loved one.

It started with Walder Frey’s (aka. Argus Filch from the Harry Potter movies) pervy comments about what was ‘underneath’ Talisa’s dress. They thought he was just being a dirty old man, but it wasn’t her nakedness he was referring to. Of course, he knew about the bun in the oven. His old-man cock had cooked up enough to know, I’m sure. That was the final, ultimate slight. Of course he had no qualms humiliating the Queen of his sovereign. He KNEW that none of them were making it out alive.

And then of course, there’s pretty Roslin Frey. Edmure grinned like a blithering idiot when they lifted the veil and it turned out his new Walder wife was totally boink-able.

IF IT SEEMS LIKE ITS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE – EDMURE – IT PROBABLY IS. Brynden Tully has it right – Edmure is a FOOL.

Sidenote – Filch’s face was PRICELESS when everyone saw how gorgeous Roslin was. He was all, “that’s right, ROBB, look what you could’ve had.”

Then, freaking Talisa had to go tell Robb that, “ohh I have a baby in me and if it’s a boy, imma gonna name it Eddard. After the dumbest man in Westeros.” Foreshadowing much? Doesn’t everyone know by now? George RR Martin lifts us up until we soar. And then, HE CUTS US DOWN LIKE THE MANIAC THAT HE IS.

Baby Ned, harbinger of doom.

I refuse! I reject all that warm-fuzzies! I refuse to let you, evil GoT producers, make me root for this happy couple when I know that you have sent them to the Twins to DIE. (I couldn’t help it though – my heart got all gooey at the thought of Baby Eddard and Papa Robb riding horses together.)

AND THEN, Walder Frey showed the world that he is THE WORST WEDDING PLANNER, EVER. It started with The Rains of Castamere floating down from the wedding violins. Suspicious… Then, Catelyn Stark discovers the chainmail under Roose Bolton’s clothes (THAT TRAITOROUS BASTARD). More suspicious… Well, you guys know the rest:

This is how I feel:

JUST LET IT END. PLEASE.

That scene is a watershed moment in TV history. Nothing before it has ever been more devastating to watch. And the long silence at the end, as Catelyn had her throat sliced open? Thats the kind of stuff that will haunt your dreams. Michelle Fairley deserves an Emmy for that monologue.

At this point, I really dont give two hoots about the rest of the episode.

Jon leaves Ygritte because he couldn’t kill some innocent old horse-farmer guy.

You’re telling me, sister. That’s the face I made when George RR Martin smacked me repeatedly in the face with Robb’s death.

Daenerys (or should I say, Daario) conquers Yunkai. Grey Worm is a TOTAL BAD ASS (good investment, Khaleesi).

Jorah’s not so bad either. Daario’s scyth caused sympathy pains in my abdominal region every time he disemboweled a Yunkish guard. Watch them in their full glory:

Uh, something happened with Bran. Little Rickon, whom I thought was mentally-challenged, spoke more lines in this episode that I’ve heard him speak all series. And little Arry has a case of “gosh darn it, I missed them again!”

It was a brutal episode. Alas, my fellow Thronies, we have made it to the other side, minus one Young Wolf. It really sucks to be a Stark in Westeros right now.

And this makes me want to smother my sorrows in Gippsland blueberry yoghurt:

BONUS – I really need to feel better right now, so enjoy this adorable photo posted up by the Queen Regent of Twitter. Let’s all pray for the well-being of Tyrion. I can’t bear to lose another.

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,